I’ve been photoshopping her into various scenarios based on the pictures my sister-in-law posts on Facebook. Here are the ones I’ve done so far:

(Rosie was done today)

And I recorded it…

Oh My God Caldrax

This is an interview Tessa did with Bob, an hour long sort of biographical interview about his life.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/HarryHarrison

Just took a trip down memory lane laughing out loud at some “shreds” videos.

Nine Inch Nails – March Of Pigs (shreds)

Here’s the Monkey on the Lam(b) show from last week. There’s an extra 15 or so minutes at the beginning in which I was very awkwardly interviewed by 2 girls from Brooklyn desperately seeking men and breast implants, I was a little bit thrown because I wasn’t prepared for the mania that would ensue upon appearing at the station, but it was fun, and I hope they’ll be there very often in the future, their show is hilarious.

Minor changes may yet be made but I’m pretty satisfied, it shows up well at a distance, too.

(Click image for bigger version)

I figured the catch phrase could be something like “If only we had this many antennas, then maybe you could hear us!” or is that self defeating?

On that subject: my fill in from Chris’ show this week will be available soon, and a snippet of Wolfie’s show yesterday. Damn recording software bugged out on me so I was only able to get the last quarter of his show, sorry Wolfie.

I stopped by the local Dairy Queen the other day and talked to AJ, the manager there who I have known since high school, and he told me about how a man had broken into the Dairy Queen the other night and had spilled ice cream on the floor. I laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation and wondered how he knew exactly what the guy had done, little did I know there was video footage of the event.

The MVTimes posted the footage on their website today.

Edit: Added Youtube version:

Edit: Update from Nelson Sigelman, author of the article:

The Edgartown Dairy Queen break-in is solved. Zachary L. Gould, 25, a seasonal Oak Bluffs resident, went to the Edgartown Police station Thursday morning accompanied by attorney Charles Morano and his father. He admitted he is the man a surveillance camera captured breaking into the popular ice cream shop early Saturday morning, officer Chris Dolby told The Times late Thursday afternoon.
The video was posted on The Times website and photos were published in the print edition. Mr. Gould went to the Oak Bluffs Library Thursday morning and read the newspaper online.
“He called this morning after seeing your website,” said officer Dolby. “He said he was so intoxicated at the time that he didn’t recall really even doing it, but once he saw the website this morning, he had fast recollection. He called an attorney, and turned himself in today at the station.”
Police plan to seek a complaint of breaking and entering, and malicious destruction of property. A court date is yet to be determined. He will be arraigned sometime next week, said police.
Mr. Gould received his undergraduate degree in public policy and law from Trinity College. He is currently enrolled in law school. He is a former intern to Senator Christopher Dodd of Connecticut.
Police thanked The Times for publishing the photos and video. “It’s good when it works out like this,” officer Dolby said. “There’s no mystery, and it’s all wrapped up. More people need to put video surveillance in their stores, as far as I’m concerned.”
He said the police had received many telephone calls from people who thought they recognized the man in the video. “We thank you for your help,” said Mr. Dolby. “If The Times would put a little brief up, it will eliminate the calls that are coming in from tipsters.”

If you live in New England, and perhaps elsewhere, I haven’t tracked their proliferation, you may be aware of a franchise restaurant chain called “Friendly’s” I guess it’s pluralized because someone named Friendly owns it? Regardless, it’s your standard American fare: Burgers, Ice cream, old people, young children and middle aged rampantly obese people. As a child, I loved friendly’s, I wanted to go there every time I went “off island” and I constantly jonesed for their burgers and reese’s peanut butter cup sundaes. In my adult life I’ve tried to resist it, but occasionally the nostalgic urge comes over me and I make the stop, devouring a nice big ball of greasy food and saccharine sweetness. Yesterday on the way to Umass for my brother’s graduation, my mother and I stopped in at one to grab a bite on the road. After using the restroom, I stepped out into the hallway and was met with a horrific site, pictured below:

How would people get to work? What monstrosity is this? As a child I had fantasized about the book “cloudy with a chance of meatballs” coming true but this was a nightmare in front of my eyes. Upon looking more closely around the restaurant, several such horrors were present: churches with ice cream cones towering behind them, A town hall dwarfed by a grilled cheese sandwich. Good god, it was terrifying. Imagine your town, crushed by several pounds of meat and dairy, all cooked in lard. These poor people. I had to save them. I sprinted out the door to the nearest Walmart and gathered up supplies: Mr. Clean, a mop, and as many trash bags as I could carry. I sprinted toward the bridge waving the mop blindly in front of my face, like an amateur jouster, afraid to be hit and knocked from my horse. I swatted at the burger wildly with the wet end of the mop, trying to ignore the screams and whines of the bacon as the grease cutter sliced through it. The bun knocked me over a few times, but after an epic battle, the burger collapsed to the ground, defeated in a puddle of it’s own juices and melted cheese. I begrudgingly collected up the remains of the hideous beast, grease ruining my clothing, and dumped it into the trash bag.

Triumphant, I carried on. I stopped at a salon and borrowed 2 blow dryers that I then wielded like 6 shooters as I approached the ice cream cone. It attempted to drip into my mouth, but I resisted it’s temptations and fired upon it with impunity until it was nothing but a pink sticky mess on the pavement behind the town hall. Just then I heard a distant rumbling and a few moments later, the hill to the north was shadowed by onion rings, rolling downward toward me. I knew I was outmatched. As they crushed cars and knocked fire hydrants out of the sidewalk, sending jetstreams of water into the air. I retreated, meeting once again with my mother and shouting at her to start the car, drive, drive, before we’re all killed! We drove up the next hill and the onion rings lost momentum, collapsing upon themselves in greasy breaded messes. On the horizon I could see the french fries bursting from the pavement like fast growing trees, then crawling down the street as if they were caterpillars, eating the greenery as they went. These poor people. I did my best to save them, but I was overwhelmed, the food was too much, too prolific, too delicious and fattening. This poor town, off an exit in western Massachusetts, would have to fight this behemoth on their own. Good luck, brave souls.

And now, I’m off to watch my brother graduate.

Better luck next time, Internet Libertarians. Found on the Harvard Bridge in Boston.